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Twelve Books That Teach Kids How to be Gracious Losers

 

From: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/12-books-that-teach-kids-how-to-be-gracious-losers_l_5fa99271c5b66009569d411b?fbclid=IwAR1W-_wt27YOdNVKbJ_TItABEwSZxTN1_lxupIs5RWaM39mfgG0GDR09UIk 

PARENTING

12 Books That Teach Kids How To Be Gracious Losers

Losing well isn't an innate skill children are born with. It's something they're supposed to learn from adults.

By 

Catherine Pearson

11/09/2020 04:20pm EST

Losing is hard. And losing graciously isn’t necessarily an innate skill children are born with; it’s something they learn from adults.

Alas, as current events have made painfully clear, kids aren’t always surrounded by the best models of how to lose — and win — graciously.

Kids certainly seem to be learning the message that what matters most in life is coming out on top. In one 2014 survey, more than 80% of kids said their parents care more about how they perform and achieve at something than how caring they are — even though their parents said they didn’t actually feel that way.

The good news? Children really do take their cues about how to handle loss and disappointment from what they see and hear from the adults in their lives. So parents can have a huge impact on how they cope with losing and adversity more both now and beyond.

Here are 12 books that help teach young kiddos about losing with kindness and compassion — for others and themselves.

"Kevin The Unicorn: It's Not All Rainbows"

Dial Books

To teach kids to cope with adversity, it's critical to normalize how darn hard it can feel. This book makes space for young children to sit with disappointment — and reassures them that there's nothing wrong with feeling down. (Available here.)

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"Cheetah Can't Lose"

Balzer + Bray

Have a hyper-competitive kiddo at home? This book helps teach them that one, you can't (and won't!) always win, and two, even when you do, it's important to be a compassionate champ. (Available here.)

"The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes"

Sourcebooks Jabberwocky

This book helps young perfectionists learn that mistakes happen, and that's OK. We all lose, we all fail — and that can actually be part of the fun of making your way through life. (Available here. )

"The Grumpy Monkey"

Penguin Random House

Again, getting comfortable with unpleasant feelings is an essential part of learning to cope with losing. This beloved book reassures kids it's OK to be in a bad mood, and reminds them that feelings are meant to be felt — the good, bad and ugly. (Available here.)

"The OK Book"

HarperCollins

This self-esteem-booster teaches kids (and maybe reminds parents?!) that it's completely OK to just be at OK at stuff. Winning isn't always the end game! (Available here.)

"Olympig! The Triumphant Story Of An Underdog"

Dial Books

The message in this bright book about Boomer the pig's Olympic ambitions could not be simpler: no one can win 'em all. (Available here.)

"The Way I Act"

Parenting Press

This book encourages kids to consider not just how they feel, but how they act upon those feelings. (Available here.)

"After The Fall: How Humpty Dumpty Got Back Up Again"

Roaring Brook

Using the classic story of Humpty Dumpty, this book reminds children that everyone fails, and offers an inspiring vision of what it looks like to keep going after. (Available here.)

"Sally Sore Loser: A Story About Winning And Losing"

Magination Press

Sally is — you guessed it! — a sore loser. But with the help of trusted adults in her life, she learns how to cope with the anger and frustration that comes with not always being No. 1. (Available here.)

"The Golden Acorn"

Capstone Editions

This book helps kiddos understand the importance of teamwork and cooperation — even if sometimes it means not coming in first place. (Available here.)

"The Grizzly Bear Who Lost His Grrrrr!"

HarperCollins

Fred is used to winning best bear in the woods, but in this book he learns there are more important things than coming out on top. (Available here.)

"You Can't Win Them All, Rainbow Fish."

NorthSouth Books

Because truly — you can't! (Available here.)

Five Strategies for Building Community During Remote Learning

 From: https://www.teacher2teacher.education/2020/11/15/5-strategies-for-building-community-during-remote-learning/?fbclid=IwAR08pcL0uKCOgrCoTg3_eHvk4keEKlgPkbpulVhqJNYhxADgkNZRv0NYPY8

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   Community & Relationship Building / Continuous growth

5 Strategies for Building Community During Remote Learning

by Melina Melendez | 11.15.20

Melina is an 8th grade science teacher in New York City.

Everything feels different this school year. Like so many of you, I’m teaching remotely – and I’ve found that one of the biggest challenges has been building and deepening my relationships with my students while physically separated. These past few months, I’ve made strengthening that part of my practice my focus. 

I’ve tried to remember that the need is very similar to what we know from teaching in a classroom: We need to get to connect with our kids and help them get to know each other so we can make our class community feel safe. Students can’t really learn otherwise. 

Something I’ve found helpful so far is incorporating a handful of steady routines into my lessons and activities – both synchronous and asynchronous. It lets my students know what to expect, and it makes my planning more manageable. (I’ve been following the design elements in the New Visions for Public Schools Teacher Planning Notebook. The section on “Planning the Day” links to resources that can help with structuring both synchronous and asynchronous lessons.)

Here are 5 strategies I’m using to create a space where students can feel comfortable learning – and to make my own planning feel more manageable:

1. Opener: Start class with a warm, friendly activity that makes students feel safe.

When I design my openers, I try to focus on my goal for the day: How do I want this day to feel? What do I want students to think about? 

Lately, I’ve been starting synchronous lessons by playing a song. Instead of saying “Hi!” over and over and giving the same instructions each time a student joins, I wait for the song to end, and we all start together. It gives the kids some space to enter class without needing to perform in any way, and they’ve started getting excited about the songs. I’ve even been taking song requests! They’ll ask, “Can you play my song next week?” and it’s one little thing that builds relationships. 

It’s important that we find a way to bring the spirit of the “opener” to asynchronous activities, too, and think about how we can invite students in. I’ll often take videos of myself going over the instructions, and students have let me know they like this – hearing me speak directly to them feels supportive. 

2. Closer: Wrap up class by checking in with students or asking for feedback.

I like to use the closing minutes of a lesson to find out how students are doing or ask them for their responses to the material. Sometimes, just so I can see their faces for at least a second, I teach them a word in American Sign Language. Last Friday, we learned “weekend,” and they showed me the sign for “weekend” before they left. It gave me a chance to see them and acknowledge them before we spent a couple days apart. 

In asynchronous lessons, I’ll include a closer with a question that solicits feedback, like, “What about this lesson was most helpful?” or, “If you were to give advice to a student who is about to start this assignment, what would you tell them to do?” 

3. Brain Breaks: Build breaks during transitions that allow students to rest their minds, move their bodies or build community. 

One of the biggest challenges I’ve encountered so far is getting students to interact with each other in ways that feel safe. They don’t feel comfortable in breakout rooms, so most of my instruction is done in full-class settings. I’ll use breakout rooms for brain breaks, with a very low-stakes activity, and that seems to feel comfortable for them. I might say something as light as, “Go into your breakout rooms and talk about whether you’d rather be a superhero or a witch.” The important thing is that brain breaks aren’t the time to introduce new concepts or challenges. I’m trying to use them to build community.

4. Micro-Routines: Focus on small, manageable learning targets.

The amount of time I have with my students is shortened, so I really try to limit what I’m teaching during our time together. I’ll just focus on one vocabulary word or a concept they can use for the rest of the week in the asynchronous assignments they do when they’re not with me. There’s a library of remote learning routines in the NVPS resources, and I find it helpful to have a handful that I can pull from. 

5. Chat: Support student interaction, even when they don’t feel comfortable speaking during class.

Building relationships with students feels so critical right now – and it also feels like the most difficult thing to do. First off, we can’t see our kids. A lot of them don’t feel comfortable showing their faces, and a lot of them aren’t willing to speak up, so the chat functionality is extremely important for me. I do require students to share their thoughts over chat, but they can do it publicly or just for me – whatever they feel comfortable with. 

One strategy that encourages interaction is giving them little assignments to determine the order in which they participate. So, I’ll say, “The youngest person will share first, and the oldest person will share last,” or “The person whose name is at the beginning of the alphabet will present first.” It feels silly, but it creates some light accountability and makes it necessary for students to talk with each other, to figure out who is the oldest and whose name comes first in the alphabet. 

I also have a peer support “cheat sheet” that offers sentence starters they can use to share whether they agree with someone in the chat. So when I display the cheat sheet of peer support, they will use it to respond to each other in the chat. 

Now, even when I don’t post it, they’re starting to reply to each other using these frameworks. I get so excited, thinking, “Oh, they get it! They get it. This is what I’ve been trying to get them to do, and they’re doing it!” I feel so grateful for those moments when a student asks a question in the chat and another student answers it. That’s the community I strive for. 

I have an eighth grader who I’ve never taught before, and I was told she’s a lot shyer in the classroom – that she often won’t speak much at all. But she’s very vocal in the chat. Sometimes, what she writes isn’t “on topic,” but I don’t mind that. Off-topic chat conversations are like the side conversations students would have had in class, anyway, so I might as well be able to see those conversations, too. It’s just nice to see them participating and speaking with each other.  

I’m so grateful to see these connections happening with kids. It’s these little things we can hold onto right now. Little by little, we’re building community.

What Gives Us Hope