This blog offers information, and connections to nurture recent graduates. We welcome your participation on this and on our Facebook Page. The NTC continues to be deeply grateful to MEDITECH for its long history of support for this program. Over the years, MEDITECH has made it possible for the New Teacher Community to serve a vital role in helping our graduates to persist in a challenging, yet deeply rewarding profession.
From: https://www.weareteachers.com/advice-for-managing-parents/?utm_term=Autofeed&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR0h_lQrUif6YkbeEuu56OaQ07n64HrLeedM6kmEig_tahMilmQThf6KSdg#Echobox=1668199810
There’s no magic potion for dealing with parents, but this list of advice is pretty close.
As teachers, we’re all familiar with classroom management. But something we rarely talk about as a skill set? Advice for managing parents.
The teacher-parent relationship is a lot like any relationship. There needs to be effort on both sides. They take time to build. There are highs and lows. You can share a salted caramel milkshake while staring into each other’s eyes.
Just kidding. That last one is for romantic relationships only.
While there’s no magic potion for getting parents to fall in love with you, here’s what our audience had to say when it comes to advice for managing parents.
“Sending them pictures of their child having fun and learning will always make them happy.”
—Brittani M.
“I worked in customer service for quite a while before becoming a teacher and channel those skills into each email exchange.”
—Ashley E.
“Parents are used to teachers talking to them about negative things about their children, so it’s great to talk to them about the positive things too.”
—Rosie T.
“I find that the parents are easier to deal with later on if I have to send a bad report. I make it a point to send out as many positive emails as possible early in the year! The kids appreciate the accolades too and tend to be a bit more respectful.”
—Jamie L.
“It was a bit of a slog to get off the ground, but now this routine that takes me under 10 minutes saves me HOURS of ‘I didn’t know about this’ or hostility from parents feeling in the dark.”
—Annie V.
“I tried it before COVID and it went amazingly well. I need to return to doing that.”
—Kelly P.
“Since it’s a public account, I don’t show student faces, but I use it to highlight parts of our week for students and parents—even some administrators and district personnel follow it. It’s fun to look through and see one student’s stop-motion animation project and hear another student’s amazing poem (read off-camera). Instagram gets a bad rap for promoting unrealistic ‘highlight reels’ of our lives, but in this case it definitely serves me!”
—Jacey M.
“Email and phone calls never on weekends. I tell myself this … ‘schedule send’ is my friend.”
—Michael K.
“In the same way we don’t reward students for behaving rudely, don’t reward rude parents with immediate communication. Plus, you’ll have as much time as you need to respond calmly and unemotionally.”
—Bill W.
“It’s hard to be rude and demanding to someone who came to cheer on your kid.”
—Randy S.
—Barbara B.
“I find it beneficial to remember that what is coming across as anger about a grade is rooted in a fear of failure or it goes against the hope of college (even when it’s just 1st grade).”
—Dani O.
Out of all the advice for managing parents, a common sentiment was brought up again and again: Be proactive so you don’t have to be reactive.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get proactive about getting a salted caramel milkshake.
Kelly Treleaven taught middle school English and wrote about it as Love, Teach at loveteachblog.com. You can order her book, Love, Teach: Real Stories and Honest Advice to Keep Teachers from Crying Under Their Desks, or follow her on Facebook or Instagram. She loves iced coffee, too many podcasts, and annoying her husband with made-up basketball facts.
From: https://www.edutopia.org/article/new-teachers-6-principles-remember-year
It won’t be easy, but if you prepare for turbulence and set reasonable goals, you’ll stay calmer and make progress in all the right places.
“Overwhelming” is how fifth-grade ELA teacher Cindy Bourdo characterizes her first year in the classroom. Unprepared for the intense workload and inexperienced in classroom management, she left the school building each day feeling “exhausted and defeated.”
But wait. It’s not that simple. Stepping into the classroom for the first time can also be “the most joyful yet sobering point in your teaching career,” writes elementary school teacher Candice Batson. “It’s the moment when you realize that every decision you make, big and small, will have an impact on the lives of other humans. You’ve spent years learning how to teach, and now it’s time to teach your students how to learn.”
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Subscribe nowAs a novice teacher, Bourdo doubled down on crucial tasks like “learning new curriculum, developing personalized learning techniques, modifying lessons, and analyzing data” but concluded that “something was not working.”
Determined to improve her own practice, she visited the classes of experienced colleagues and landed on a game-changing insight: In their own ways, each found time to work on relationships with students. One played basketball with students at lunchtime on Fridays; another invited students to join her lunchtime walk. In time, Bourdo added a morning meeting to her repertoire, a small shift that “changed me as a teacher, and it changed the vibe in my classroom,” she recalls. “I began to feel happier at school, and I could see that my students were happier too.”
Lesson learned: If the first year in the classroom can be daunting, focusing on a handful of simple practices—including centering relationships—can help new teachers ease some of the stress of the job.
Here are six principles to remember this year:
1. It’s going to be a roller coaster. There will be transcendent moments—a child will tell you that they love you or that you’ve changed their life—but for the most part you’ll feel lost, not up to the task, and demoralized. “Prepare for the worst year of your life,” warns Rachel West in a Facebook thread, only slightly hyperbolically, and use that perspective to help you “realize it’s normal.” Consider writing a note to yourself—“Don’t be surprised when this is hard”—and put it somewhere you can’t miss it. It will restore your backbone when you’re a mess.
Don’t exacerbate the inevitable difficulties by engaging in negative talk. “Be careful who you vent to” because “a listening ear can also be a running mouth,” says Melanie Michaud, and don’t suffer educators who “bog you down with negativity and meanness,” echoes middle school teacher Christine Mattiko. Instead, invest time finding a small group of teachers who are positive, like-minded, and growth-oriented—then vent strategically when you’ve hit the wall and need to unload.
Trust us: Your toughest moments in the classroom are mere passing fancies for students.
“Find your reset button and hit it daily,” counsels Tonya Smith. “Keep in mind that when dealing with children, every day is a new day.”
2. Establish a precedent on grading right now. New teachers spend far too much time grading assignments—the obligation spills over into personal lives, interrupts plans with friends and family, and steadily erodes happiness and well-being. More disheartening news, according to experienced teachers? It hurts students too.
Filling papers with red ink overwhelms students—they end up ignoring hours of your best effort—and assigning less work so you can keep up deprives students of much-needed practice. “Marking up every sentence does nothing for the student,” confirms teacher Dawn Fable Lindquist, and is a clear “misuse of your time.”
Promise yourself that you’ll immediately adopt grading strategies that hundreds of experienced teachers say are best practices. “Make no more than three comments on everything you grade,” insists Hilary Dumitrescu, and keep your feedback laser-focused on high-priority areas of improvement.
Meanwhile, assign plenty of work to get kids practicing their skills, but resist the urge to grade all of it. You can even use the one-in-four rule and provide in-depth feedback to only 25 percent of any student’s assignments—the practice is a game-changer, according to master teachers. Finally, use tech tools to automate the grading of multiple-choice quizzes, and teach your students to use preprepared assessment rubrics to self-assess or provide peer-to-peer feedback.
3. Develop a simple set of relationship-building strategies. Early in your career, students are more likely to explore classroom rules and test your boundaries. You’ll be tempted to confront every infraction. Instead, you should try to keep your perspective and tackle only the issues that threaten classroom equilibrium.
When one or two students inevitably begin distracting peers, “my welcoming smile quickly turns into a neutral facial expression,” teacher Crystal Frommert notes, referring to the development of “the look,” a powerful nonverbal classroom management tactic wielded by veteran teachers everywhere. She follows up with a firm but kind “Please get back to the assigned task.”
In the end, the best classroom management is invisible; veteran teachers rely on proactive strategies that emphasize strong relationships and then work prudently behind the scenes, discouraging misbehavior before it gets started, a 2021 study reveals. To nip disruptive behavior in the bud, make relationship-building core to your day: Greet your kids at the door; use brief, beginning-of-the-year surveys to ask about their interests, passions, or pets and family members—and follow up in future conversations; consider brief weekly or daily check-in activities to build culture continuously.
Finding the right balance between being firm yet friendly takes practice—and probably more than a few false starts. “Be patient with yourself,” says Frommert. “Even veteran teachers have to rein in the boundaries from time to time. Respect and firm communication of expectations will foster an engaging and fun class culture without crossing any lines.”
4. Seek out the helpers. Great mentors are essential for developing great teachers—even if your instinct is to carve out your own path through your first years of teaching. “You’ll never get to everything,” warns teacher Meghan Grace, referring to the mountains of grading, paperwork, and planning that lie ahead. But you’ll make inroads once you connect with a “positive, veteran teacher to help you prioritize things.” With strong, consistent mentorship, research shows, teachers stay in the profession longer, and there’s a significant impact on student academic outcomes too.
Choose wisely. If you’re not assigned a mentor, look for experienced, growth-oriented colleagues who will “listen with empathy,” counsels Cait Marie, an English teacher in New Jersey—and also know how to redirect “worries and emotions positively,” writes educator Alec Mielke via Facebook.
Take the direct approach: Simply “make time to email different teachers in your building that you admire and let them know you want to stop by their classrooms to see them in action,” says Andrea Marshbank, a high school ELA teacher. “Most teachers will be glad to work with you and to talk afterward about your thoughts and observations. We get better at teaching when we talk productively about our practice.”
5. Make reflection a daily habit. A consistent habit of meaningful reflection is at the heart of every good teaching practice and can become immensely productive, fueling continuous growth and improvement. But finding regular time for it can be tough, especially after “teaching a full day, grading assignments, providing feedback to students and families, meeting with advisees and colleagues, and then preparing for the next day,” says high school engineering teacher John Kamal. As a novice, you’ll also be battling emotional fatigue.
For new teachers, all of that might feel like a great reason to shelve reflection—but that’s a mistake.
To make it a daily habit, keep reflection as simple as possible. During transitions in the day, or in brief moments after his last class, Kamal jots notes in apps like Evernote or OneNote, or records quick voice memos he can review later. To make it less daunting, focus on just one or two areas of improvement at a time, and be disciplined about letting the rest go. For example, if you are concerned about the quality and effectiveness of your daily lessons, start by focusing on just one of them, suggests educational consultant and former teacher Megan Collins, and use simple guiding questions like “What proves that students actually learned?” and “What teaching skills did I use today to promote learning?”
6. Set a few personal boundaries—and stick to them. In a profession that’s notorious for its high burnout rate, setting firm personal boundaries early in your first year is critical, because “if you spend all of your time and energy in your classroom, that becomes the expectation—even as life events happen,” warns Heather Bouillet, a teacher at Carmel Clay Schools.
Consider a few simple adjustments:
Find ways to unplug: Consider removing access to work emails from your phone, for example, so you’re not tempted to respond to work emails nights and weekends.
Learn to say no: “You do not have to sponsor clubs, do extra unpaid activities, or really do anything that doesn’t scale to you being a good teacher to your kids,” says teacher Erin Rivet Burkamp. “Do extra things if you really want to, but don’t let anyone guilt-trip you into doing more if you just cannot.”
From our wonderful New Teacher Community workshop on Self-Care for Educators in October, 2022.
An article shared at our wonderful October NTC workshop on Self-Care for Educators led by Tracy Affonso of Tracy AffonsoYoga.com
http://www.tracyaffonsoyoga.com/
Over the course of my over forty years as an educator and researcher, I’ve learned that teachers are often incredibly altruistic and devoted to making a positive difference in children’s lives. But too many of them are not well prepared for the social and emotional demands of today’s classroom. Stressful conditions—like high-stakes testing or students with severe psychological problems—can lead us to feel discouraged, burnt-out, and ready to quit.
Most teacher training focuses primarily on content and pedagogy, overlooking the very real social, emotional, and cognitive demands of teaching itself. Luckily, learning and cultivating skills of mindfulness—the ability to stay focused on one’s present experience with nonjudgmental awareness—can help us to promote the calm, relaxed, but enlivened classroom environment that children need to learn. Mindfulness can also help us to be more effective at reducing conflict and developing more positive ways of relating in the classroom, which can help us feel more job satisfaction.
How does mindfulness do this? By training our minds consciously to become more aware of our inner and outer experience, and learning how to manage our emotions.
In my new book, Mindfulness for Teachers, I outline several mindfulness practices—including focused breathing, open awareness, loving-kindness, and others—that teachers can use in the classroom, whether they want to invoke a sense of mindfulness in the classroom or to become a more mindful person, in general. These practices can help a teacher to slip into a mindful presence when it’s most needed, allowing us to pay better attention to the learning environment and our students’ needs within the classroom.
Here are some of the many ways that developing mindfulness can help us be better teachers.
1. Before class, take a moment to get centered.
2. Stand with your feet about shoulder width and relax your knees, don’t lock them.
3. Bring your attention to a point in your abdomen about two inches below your navel and about an inch into your body.
4. Spend a few minutes focusing on this point and feeling gravity connecting your body to the Earth.
When I teach, I sometimes notice that my mind is so focused on thinking about what I need to do and how to do it that I’m not paying attention to the present moment. I have expectations about how things ought to be and I become attached to them, rather than noticing and accepting how things actually are.
This causes distress, making me emotionally volatile, which in turn affects my perceptions and makes me more sensitive to threat. I may imagine a student’s disruptive behavior is intentionally designed to interfere with my teaching when in fact it is the normal behavior of a child who needs help with his self-regulation. If I take his behavior personally, I may lose my temper and say something that makes matters worse.
Practicing mindfulness can help teachers to recognize our emotional patterns and proactively regulate how we behave, responding in the way we want to rather than reacting automatically. It can also help us to savor the positive moments in our job—when we feel the joy of true connection with our students or resonate with the joy and excitement our students feel when learning clicks for them.
During my first year of teaching I had no idea how to get my students to pay attention to my lessons, respond to directions, or behave appropriately. I thought that if I was nice to my students, they would like me, want to please me, and do what I wanted them to do.
However, I was wrong. My students didn’t respond or behave that way at all, and, day by day, my frustration grew to the point where I was impatient and snapping at them.
One day a supervisor came to observe my teaching and gave me some important feedback: She told me that I was saying “okay?” at the end of many of my instructions to students, giving them the message that whatever I asked of them was optional. No wonder they were so unresponsive!
After that feedback, I began to monitor myself to break this bad habit, and this helped me see how mindful self-awareness could help me succeed as a teacher.
1. Think about a student you find challenging.
2. Recall the last time she or he did something that made teaching difficult.
3. What emotions does the memory elicit? Do you feel annoyed? Frustrated?
4. How does your body feel? For example, are your shoulders tense? Your stomach tight?
5. Don’t try to stop the feelings or change them. Just sit with them.
6. Listen to the thoughts that come from these feelings.
7. This practice is helpful because it will enable you to learn how your emotions function. This will help you to respond consciously, rather than unconsciously, to misbehavior.
8. It may help you to record these reactions in a journal.
All teachers have problems with particular students who misbehave in the classroom. Mindful awareness helps us attend to what’s happening with a child to cause them to misbehave.
Sometimes students misbehave because the environment is inappropriate for their developmental stage—for example, we can’t expect kindergarteners to sit quietly listening to an adult talk for long periods of time. Children exposed to trauma in their lives tend to be hyper vigilant—which consumes a lot of cognitive resources, and can lead them to learn more slowly than other students or to be overly sensitive to changes in environment.
Nonjudgmental awareness is an important aspect of mindfulness, too—one that involves accepting things as they are in the present moment. When we first practice mindful awareness, we often notice how hard it is not to judge. But, as we observe ourselves engaging in judgment, we become more aware of it in the moment, our mind begins to settle, and eventually our tendency to judge subsides.
Judgment often induces feelings of guilt and shame. Sometimes teachers judge their students harshly and unconsciously use guilt and shame as management techniques with their students—probably because they’ve learned these techniques as a child from their own parents. But there’s plenty of evidence that this approach doesn’t work. Rather than encouraging children to behave, it promotes resentment, distrust, and retaliation.
Mindfully recognizing our emotional responses toward students may help us understand why they are behaving the way they are. If we feel annoyed, the behavior is likely attention seeking. If we feel threatened, the behavior is likely a bid for power. If we feel hurt, the behavior is likely an attempt at revenge, and if we feel discouraged, the student is likely giving up. These feelings can help us respond more appropriately to the underlying issues of our students, and help us shift from a negative appraisal to a state of compassion.
There is a mistaken belief among many teachers that we can and must control our students’ behavior. This sets us up for power struggles, where our attempts to control are likely to backfire.
It’s far better to create and maintain an effective learning environment by learning to control ourselves. We can control how we communicate, how we behave and where we position our bodies in space. We can set and reinforce expectations and limits. And, we can control the classroom physical space so that it supports learning.
A kindergarten teacher I know couldn’t get his students to stop running in the classroom, even after repeated reminders, and he was getting very frustrated. But, once he became mindful of the fact that his classroom furniture was arranged to create distinct “runways” in the class space and remembered that children have a natural inclination to run in open spaces, he could see what needed to be done: he moved the furniture to block the runways, and the children stopped running.
Knowing what’s going on in your classroom and with your students is critical to your ability to orchestrate the social-emotional dynamics and the physical spaces that are conducive to learning. Practicing mindful awareness helps you develop the skill of paying attention in the present moment and learning to see what’s truly happening in your classroom, allowing you to come up with better solutions to problems you see.
Research on effective classroom management points to the importance of teacher-student relationships. We can set up great management systems involving guidelines and limits, but if our students don’t trust and respect us or think we don’t respect them, we’re in for some challenges.
Giving each student our full mindful attention for even a short period of class time gives him or her the message “I see you.” By making a connection with our students, we let them know we value them as individuals.
Because the goal of school is learning, we naturally tend to signal to students that we value high academic achievement. However, we need to be mindful when we see students displaying non-academic attributes, such as helpfulness, friendliness, creativity, problem-solving, and conflict resolution, and to communicate that we value these as well. Students feel connection with teachers when they know their teachers truly see them and appreciate them.
1. Explain to students, “We know that kids learn better and teachers teach better when we give ourselves time to think about a question before answering it. I will wait about three seconds after I ask a question before I call on anyone to answer. This will give you time to think about how you’d like to answer. I will also give myself some time before I respond.”
2. Each time you do your three-second wait time, use it to mindfully take a nice, deep breath.
3. If you are standing, notice the weight of your feet on the ground.
4. Allow your awareness to broaden so that you can take in the entire class.
5. Scan the class, noticing each students as they raise their hands, and choose one you may not have called on much lately.
6. As the student answers, listen mindfully and spend time considering it.
Sometimes as new teachers we can be overly concerned about getting through our lesson plans and can unconsciously start to rush. Slowing down and deliberately pausing for a moment of mindfulness can give us time to ask ourselves how we are feeling, what’s happening in the classroom, and what our students need at that particular moment. It also models mindfulness for our students.
The speed at which students process information varies. Some students process auditory information very quickly, while others tend to have more visual or sensory-motor strengths. Younger children require more time to process than older children, though adults often forget this. No matter their ages, students process information better when there are given a little extra time, and consciously creating pauses throughout a lesson helps support learning.
Too often teachers forget to pause after asking a question or interrupt student pauses and hesitations, not giving students a chance to think through their answers. Pausing is helpful during lecturing (to give students time to absorb the information and consolidate their thinking) and during student work periods (to give students uninterrupted time to figure things out for themselves). It can also generate feelings of suspense and expectation, enlivening the classroom.
If we rush because we are anxious, we may miss these opportunities to deepen learning. Mindfulness can teach us to wait and be patient and to time our pauses appropriately.
Students have a basic need to belong to and contribute to a community. We can foster a sense of community by modeling caring and other prosocial behaviors, instituting caring routines, and mindfully listening to our students.
To cultivate a community of learners, we can provide students with opportunities to collaborate with and help one another—for example by having students work together in groups where each student has a specific task that contributes toward the outcome. Collaborative learning gives students the opportunity to help others and to reflect on the experiences and needs of others, which promotes empathy and perspective taking.
Another way to build community among students is through joint service learning projects, where students work together on giving back in some way to their community. Mindfully taking note of different student strengths and challenges can help teachers make these shared work opportunities enrich student learning and can help build a positive classroom climate.
In all of these ways, mindfulness can help teachers to be the best they can be and bring out the best in their students. Being able to approach a classroom with a sense of calm understanding and the skills to intervene appropriately can make learning a pleasure for everyone.
Patricia (Tish) Jennings, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized leader in the fields of social and emotional learning and mindfulness in education. A teacher and teacher trainer by background, she is now a member of the National Academy of Sciences Committee on Fostering Healthy Mental, Emotional, and Behavioral Development among Children and Youth, and has authored numerous peer-reviewed studies on student engagement, classroom management, and teacher well-being.
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