This is the final installment in a year-long
series of written and video diary entries by Shelby Denhof,
who is letting us follow her first year of teaching. To see all entries,
click here.
I’m not the best with details. I’m more of a “big
picture” kind of person. I struggle with names, remembering faces, and
recalling important facts. Heck, I can’t even tell you what I had for
breakfast yesterday (okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration). But I am
confident I’ll never forget this first group of students. Every
beautiful, silly detail of this year has lodged itself into my memory
and will continue to be a source of wisdom and inspiration for years to
come. I can feel it.
Boiling down this momentous year into a succinct, bullet-pointed list
of lessons doesn’t even come close to covering the depth of knowledge
Year 1 gave me. However, there are a number of things that stand out to
me as the most important things to share:
What I’ve Learned
Relationships are everything.
This isn’t exactly new, but it always bears repeating. Every kid needs
to feel valued and listened to for them to buy into what’s being taught.
What’s great about that is is that it’s easy to give. At the end of the
year, many of my students told me how much they appreciated that I
greeted them every day, or smiled at them, or addressed them by name, or
asked about what was going on in their lives. To me, those are simple
things, things I don’t even think about. But to them, it made them feel
special.
Look to the students for direction.
Leadership doesn’t come from the top and trickle down. My students
dictate what I do. I need to look to them for guidance on what’s working
and what’s not and adapt to meet their needs, not the other way around.
Be firm with behavioral expectations.
“You need to scare me if you want me to do something,” one boy,
Dominick, told me frankly. “When I’m messing around, you tell me to
stop, but it’s not scary. You need to freak kids out a bit to get them
to stop.”
I took this to mean that there need to be consequences that are
consistently followed when misbehavior happens. I thought that because I
have good relationships with my kids, they would respect what I say.
That’s definitely not true and was naive of me to think. I let these
certain students go on ignoring my rules for far too long, and by the
time I started doing something about it, it was too late. Their
misbehavior was a habit by then and it became a power struggle. I
resented these students for a long part of the year, but looking back, I
shouldn’t have ever let it get to that point. The year ended on a
strong note with most of those kids, but having some more consistency
with discipline is my #1 focus for the upcoming year.
Grow some thick insulation.
I’m a sensitive person. I care a whole lot, and that’s a good thing. That’s what makes me
me.
However, I can’t let myself be completely open to every hardship
someone is going through. This is something I’m still struggling to
accept. When I’ve shared stories with older teachers about difficult
situations my kids are in, many respond to it in a cold and callused
way.
Why don’t they seem to care as much as I do? I’d ask myself, angered by their lack of compassion.
What I realize now, though, is that they almost have to respond that way. If we open ourselves up to
every
bad thing, it can destroy us. There are a number of times when I’ve
been emotionally wrecked by some of my students’ experiences and that
puts me in a place where I can’t work or think properly, ultimately
cutting me off from others and preventing me from being a good mentor
and teacher. It’s really difficult navigating that line between being
open to these hardships, but emotionally detached enough to stay strong
at the same time.
What I’ll Do Differently
Set the bar higher.
I didn’t expect seventh graders to be capable of much at the beginning
of the year. I figured their immaturity was inevitable and their
academic and social understanding of the world would be, quite frankly,
low and embarrassing. Boy was I wrong. They will rise to meet any bar I
set, and will do so eagerly (most of the time).
Always have a Plan B (and C, and D).
My biggest rookie mistake was sometimes not having enough to for my
students to do. I’d think that there’s no way for kiddos could finish
the activity I planned in an hour, yet a half hour into class I’d have
half a dozen kids up in my face relentlessly asking, “What do I do now?”
That kind of free time can lead to absolute destruction and chaos. It’s
good to have lots of backup plans and activities, especially for the
more advanced kids who crave a challenge (as long as it’s not just busy
work).
Don’t put things off.
Specifically, grading. Grading is the
worst. Somehow I would
let it pile up and then I would get all stressed out, which would
prevent me from actually getting it done in a timely manner, and then
I’d repeat this stupid cycle the next time something big was due. Don’t
do that.
Grading aside, another thing I put off for far too long was
incorporating service learning into my classroom. My students proved to
me time and time again that if I’m passionate about something, they will
be too. My classes and I did a number of drives to collect needed items
for nearby organizations, and that was satisfying for a while (for our
first drive, my students collected over 650 articles of clothing for a
group that works with children in the foster care system!), but I knew
taking kids out into the community to volunteer would be much impactful
for them. For a few weekends in a row, I met up with students at the
local Ronald McDonald House to cook elaborate meals for the families
staying there. My students who participated kept saying it was the best
thing we did all year and are begging me to open that up to 8th graders
next year so they can do it again. It’s a shame I waited until the last
month of school to do this. Next year, I’m going to set aside one
weekend a month to volunteer with my kiddos.
What I Wish I Knew From the Start
Put yourself out there.
Many times this year, I caught myself making excuses as to why I shouldn’t do or ask for something. I’d say,
Well, it’s just my first year here. Maybe I can do that next year.
I considered speaking at a local conference, but convinced myself no
one would want to listen to a first year teacher. I eventually joined an
environmental group that connects schools with the local community, but
I put it off for so long that I was only able to go to one community
event. I didn’t join earlier because I told myself it wasn’t that
relevant to what I teach (which was wrong). I regret not pushing myself
to go more out of my comfort zone and for using Year 1 as an excuse for
delaying my goals.
It’s okay to say no.
Saying no to everything is obviously a bad plan, but there are times
when it’s a good idea to turn something down (yes, even to superiors).
With that said, being a team player is immensely valuable because A) It
makes you friends, and B) People do more favors for friends. However, if
I’m trying to balance my work/home life and also trying to accomplish
my own personal and professional goals, there’s not enough hours in the
day to do everything. Something has to give. I think people can be
accepting of that after I prove that I’m still helping the ‘team’ out in
my own way.
Middle schoolers really are smelly.
I thought spring was a beautiful time of the year until I began teaching
7th grade and all the armpit smells started coming out after spring
break. It doesn’t hurt to have a few travel-size deodorant sticks in the
room for those emergency situations (that is, when I feel brave enough
to even tell them they stink).
Kids write more and better when they can type.
When one of my coworkers shared this revelation with me, it felt like the epitome of a
duh
moment. Of course students will be more willing to naturally edit their
writing if it’s easier to do so. As simple as it sounds, I didn’t
realize that until three-fourths of the year had passed. I started
having my students type their responses to the assigned Articles of the
Week and the quality skyrocketed.
Nearly a year ago this time, I got the call from my principal offering me the job.
I was out to lunch with friends and had missed the call. I walked out
of the restaurant to listen to the voicemail simply asking me to call
him back. I was so nervous, my hands wouldn’t work. I dialed his number
nearly a dozen times before I hit the right numbers. Fast-forward a week
and I was seeing my classroom for the first time. My principal gave me a
tour, even showing me the view I have outside my windows. I was
uncharacteristically silent, awed by the reality that this was actually
happening.
How has a year gone by already?
While I might not be good at remembering all details, the events
surrounding these lessons play vividly in my mind like a movie. I can
hear each word said, see every expression, feel every emotion again.
Those memories are here to stay. This year was too important to
forget. ♥
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