From this:
Two students stole candy from their teacher. Not just any candy—the candy. The kind of candy that teachers use to build engagement, reward effort, and inject a little joy into learning.
The teacher had bought it with his own money, excited to use it as part of a review game and classroom activities. But before that could happen, two students took matters into their own hands.
One distracted the teacher. The other slipped behind his desk and grabbed the stash. Later, in the next class period, the student handed it out like a sugar-fueled Robin Hood, making himself the instant favorite among his classmates.
His logic? If everyone was happy, where was the harm?
But there was a problem: it wasn’t theirs to give.
When the Teacher Found Out…
Later that day, the teacher noticed something odd—students were munching on candy. His candy. The same kind he had just bought. After putting the pieces together, he figured out what had happened.
Now, at this moment, most teachers would go one of two ways:
- Go straight to punishment – Write them up, give them detention, call home, and move on.
- Drop the whole thing – Decide it’s “just candy” and let it go.
This teacher chose a third way: restorative accountability.
Instead of focusing on what rule was broken, he focused on what harm was done. Instead of jumping straight to consequences, he asked for a restorative conversation.
Facing the Truth
When I sat down with the students, I didn’t start with shame or anger. I just asked:
“What happened?”
They admitted to it pretty quickly. But here’s the twist—they didn’t think it was a big deal.
“We gave the candy out. Everyone was happy.”
In their minds, no one was hurt. The candy was shared. The class was in a better mood. So why did it matter?
That’s when I knew we had some work to do.
From Candy to Bank Robbery
To help them see the bigger picture, I used an analogy:
“Imagine someone robs a bank, then goes out and hands the money to random people on the street. Sure, those people might be happy—but does that make it right?”
That clicked.
I asked them again: “Who was affected by what you did?”
At first, they struggled. They only saw the immediate outcome—the happy classmates. They hadn’t thought beyond that.
So, we shifted the focus to the teacher.
- He was excited to do something fun for his students.
- He used his own money to buy something special.
- He lost trust in his students because of this.
- He felt disappointed and hesitant to do fun things in the future.
That’s when it hit them. The theft wasn’t just about candy—it was about trust.
One student finally said, “So… he probably doesn’t want to do rewards anymore.”
Bingo.
This was the moment where they had to make a choice: own up, or brush it off. True accountability isn’t just about saying sorry—it’s about having the courage to face the harm you’ve caused and take steps to repair it.
Repairing the Harm
I asked, “How do you fix this?”
At first, one student asked, “How much did the candy cost? I’ll pay him back.”
But the teacher made it clear—it wasn’t about the money.
"You can’t buy back trust. You have to earn it."
That hit them hard. They realized their mistake—not just because they got caught, but because they could see the real impact of their actions. That’s accountability.
Without being told to, they chose to apologize. Not because they were forced to. Not because they wanted to avoid punishment. But because they truly understood the harm they had caused.
And more importantly, they learned how to repair it.
Why This Matters
Could the teacher have just written them up? Sure.
Would that have taught them a lesson? Maybe.
Would it have restored trust? Not a chance.
This is why restorative discipline matters. It doesn’t mean “letting kids off easy.” It means holding them accountable in a way that actually changes behavior—not just for today, but for the future.
Real discipline isn’t about consequences. It’s about accountability, growth, and repair.
And sometimes, the best lesson starts with a stolen piece of candy.
Final Thoughts
- Punishment teaches compliance.
- Accountability teaches responsibility.
- Restorative conversations build trust.
Next time a student makes a mistake, ask yourself: Do I want to punish, or do I want to teach?
Because if we want students to learn from their mistakes, we have to give them the tools to actually fix them.
More Resources
Want to explore this approach further? Check out my book, Hacking School Discipline, where we rethink student behavior by shifting from traditional punishment to restorative practices that foster relationships and accountability.
