Saturday, March 2, 2024

How to Recognize If My Child's Anger Issuues are Normal or if it's Something More?

 

From: https://ilslearningcorner.com/2015-11-how-to-recognize-if-my-childs-anger-issues-are-normal-or-if-its-something-more/?fbclid=IwAR1w8lpO29ppNnmITSQV8IgJ6fNmA_wOfTgI0DVONLXHCIqFO-1Z64c0B5I

How to Recognize if My Child’s Anger Issues are Normal or if it’s Something More

 

Integrated Learning Strategies (ILS) is a learning and academic center. As a reminder, ILS is not a health care provider and none of our materials or services provide a diagnosis or treatment of a specific condition or learning challenge you may see in your child or student. If you seek a diagnosis or treatment for your child or student, please contact a trained professional who can provide an evaluation of the child.

 

Anger is not unusual or unfamiliar for most parents. As children grow older, they explore their emotions and develop a sense of emotional intelligence as they cope with tough issues at school, at home and with friends. However, when anger issues become a reoccurring problem that lead to bad behavior, meltdowns, frustrations at home or harm to others, do we know the differences of when it is a normal emotional reaction and when it may be associated with a learning challenge? How do we know the difference and how can we recognize the signs and symptoms

 

By knowing the differences in your child, parents can not only understand how to better handle anger issues at home, they can also learn to prevent meltdowns and anxiety from happening in the child’s environment. It’s also important to know the differences because what normal children can cope with on a daily basis, other children struggling with learning challenges like ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorders (SPD), Autism, and Dyslexia, cannot cope as well with these issues. As parents, our approach should be much different when helping a child with learning challenges who also struggles with anger issues. For severe behavioral issues, parents should consider professional help from a behavioral psychologist or behavioral neurologist.

 

How to recognize the signs

 

Here are some helpful tips to determine whether your child is experiencing anger issues that are normal or if they are trying to cope with anger issues associated with a learning challenge. As a reminder, many of these recommendations may overlap or work for both types of children.

 

Anger:
Normal Child

Anger: Learning Challenge

How can I tell the difference?
  • Emotional intelligence, including anger, typically begins to manifest itself between the ages of 2 to 6.
  • Tantrums and anger often subside over time with only occasional meltdowns.
  • Shows anger between 2 and 6 when language and speech are developing.
  • Tests limits and boundaries, but can listen and respond to authority figures when disciplined.
  • Needs reassurance when angry, but eventually learns how to cope with anger and other emotions as they get older.
  • Can usually pinpoint a situation that triggers or creates anger.
  • Parents can reason and communicate about emotional outbursts with their child.
  • Typically doesn’t show anger over small disruptions.
  • Show signs of emotional immaturity, especially anger, after the age of 7.
  • Can’t control emotional outbursts, anger and meltdowns, which often occurs on a regular basis.
  • Shows anger when they can’t communicate or when a parent/teacher doesn’t understand them (typically after speech and language development).
  • Anger or tantrums last more than 30 minutes.
  • Behavior interferes with building relationships at home or at school.
  • Causes bodily harm to themselves or to others on a regular basis.
  • Shows defiance, aggression and unexplained spouts of anger towards authority figures/adults.
  • Purposely breaks items, throws objects at others, and creates disorder in public places.
How do I help my child cope with anger?
  • Talk through meltdowns and what made the child angry.
  • Offer emotional and physical support to calm situations that cause anger.
  • Provide a safe and comfortable environment for the child to release emotional tension.
  • Participate in physical activity to calm symptoms (walks, park, swings).
  • Validate the child’s feelings and what caused the anger.
  • Teach your child that anger is a normal emotion and it’s ok to feel frustration at times.
  • Comment on their good behavior and positive experiences with emotions.
  • Take an interest in your child’s daily activities and accomplishments.
  • When appropriate, use humor to lighten the mood.
  • Find what triggers the anger or meltdowns (textures, communication, noise, light).
  • Recognize it may be a result of a learning challenge (ADHD, SPD, Autism, Dyslexia, Anxiety) and seek professional help.
  • Offer choices whenever possible for the most comfortable outcome.
  • Carry sensory kits to calm anger (stress balls, blankets, chewy toys)
  • Prep your child ahead of time for unfamiliar environments and surroundings (malls, family parties, stores).
  • Bring calming music for them to listen to on your iPod.
  • Participate in physical activity to calm symptoms (walks, park, swings).
What do I avoid with an angry child?
  • Try not to escalate the child’s anger and emotional stress with yelling or hurtful words.
  • Avoid situations that may point to spouts of anger.
  • To prevent the child from feeling neglected, become more involved in school activities and quality time at home.
  • If humor is used to help with anger, avoid using it when certain situations call for communicating with them about tough emotional issues.
  • Don’t create leeway if rules are already set in place; follow through with consequences.
  • Avoid punishment that doesn’t “fit the crime.”
  • Avoid spanking as it may escalate the situation.
  • Do not enable the child by allowing them to harm others or act inappropriately toward adults/authority figures.
  • Don’t give into tantrums or meltdowns or it could cause more in the future.
  • Avoid giving into the child one day and then taking it away the next; be consistent.
  • Try not to say negative comments for small behavioral issues and use praise instead.
  • Avoid situations that may lead to meltdowns or anxiety.
  • Don’t leave certain objects behind if they are used for comfort.
  • Avoid certain textures, noises, smells or irritations that may cause anger issues

Integrated Learning Strategies is a Utah-based center dedicated to helping mainstream children and children with learning challenges achieve academic success. Our services provide kids with non-traditional tutoring programs within the Davis County, Kaysville, Layton, Syracuse, Farmington, and Centerville areas. Areas to find Integrated Learning Strategies include: Reading tutors in Kaysville, Math tutors in Kaysville, Common Core Tutors in Kaysville, Tutors in Utah, Utah Tutoring Programs

 

Sunday, January 14, 2024

How Perfectionism Holds New Teachers Back

 From: https://www.edutopia.org/article/how-perfectionism-holds-new-teachers-back?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Winter+24&utm_id=Winter24&utm_term=winter+school+season&utm_content=perfectionism+problem&fbclid=IwAR2Qo0e6D4EBOnBLQvh8xbbix005MnRy-gc3Pwu9HZRkQkDHxnH6-KQiQZs

 

NEW TEACHERS

How Perfectionism Holds New Teachers Back

The insidious internal drive for perfection, especially in the early years of teaching, is a recipe for frustration and burnout. Here’s how to embrace the messiness of learning.

April 28, 2023

As a novice teacher, John Spencer set a lofty goal for himself. In his classroom, he planned to emulate the gifted and charismatic social studies teacher who’d inspired him as a young middle school student.

Very soon, he realized that this might be an unattainable objective.  

“I wanted to be just like that teacher I looked up to. I might not have articulated it that way at the time, but my own perfectionism stemmed from that picture in my head of what ‘good teaching’ looks like,” says Spencer, now an author and associate professor of education at George Fox University. As those first weeks and months of the school year rolled by in a blur of late-night grading and lesson planning, the difficult realization set in that “I could never be that teacher,” and he said to himself, “I would only be a worse copy.” 

Meanwhile, in Lisa Dabbs’s first kindergarten classroom, a similar storyline was playing out. “It all started with making sure that my room was painstakingly organized, down to the last color-coded crayon holder,” writes Dabbs, who eventually became an elementary school principal. “This carried over to the ritual of covering all my white cardboard box storage containers (no plastic for me) with decorative contact paper.” Bulletin boards had “perfect themed borders, selected by season or lesson focus.” 

Lesson planning, of course, required similar attention to detail, eating up the fledgling teacher’s evenings and weekends. “I’d spend most weekends on the living room floor with curriculum tools spread around me,” Dabbs recalls. “I’d forget to eat at times, turning down social invites, until the perfect lessons were developed.”

Perfectionism, the insidious notion that we must not just be good, we must excel at everything we do—classroom management, lesson planning, color-coded classroom supplies, and picture-perfect decor—can be an especially powerful drive among new teachers. At its core, it’s the belief that “in order to be loved and accepted, we must strive to act and be the best at all times,” writes author and educator Elena Aguilar in a three-part post for Education Week. This harmful (and futile) tendency “consumes a great deal of time and energy because every time we feel shame, blame, or criticism, our response is, ‘I wasn’t perfect enough. So let me be more perfect next time.’” 

Unchecked, perfectionism is “a career-killer that will rob you of your joy,” says Spencer. For new teachers, it drives them to meticulously grade everything, overprepare for class time, volunteer for too many extracurricular activities, and expend energy addressing every single hiccup or misbehavior in the classroom. It leads to burnout and an early exit from their career.

Is it just an artifact of time and place—a natural-enough inclination for new teachers, given their abundance of energy and hope? In search of answers, we spoke with teachers and dug into our archives to collect advice and strategies that might help novice teachers prioritize what truly matters and embrace their imperfections.

ACCEPT THE MESSY

If there’s one thing veteran teachers come to accept, it’s that kids and the day-to-day classroom environment are unpredictable and sometimes chaotic, even with extensive planning and oversight. 

“When the wasp enters the room, when the brand-new assessment that the district purchased fails to load on the laptops, when the substitute list has been expended—there are multitudes of challenges that wait for teachers (and students) each day in the classroom,” writes Jason DeHart, a high school English teacher and author. But teachers aren’t “limited to the trajectory of curriculum or the next line of a script,” says DeHart. “Teachers are the scientists and artists who deal with the changing demands of the classroom.”

Starting from a place “where you recognize that you’re going to be imperfect, that teaching itself is going to be messy and there will be mistakes,” is key, says Spencer. Because when you always expect perfection, you lose “that sense of joy and accomplishment. That’s a huge part of avoiding burnout, the feeling that what we do matters.”

CLASSROOM BACKUPS

Delivering perfectly tuned lesson plans every day may be the goal, but it’s also unrealistic. To fill in the gaps, create and keep updating a set of backup strategies, a tool kit for when things get messy and don’t go according to plan—DeHart calls it having a Plan B (or C). Some of his favorites include a wall chart with ideas for early finishers or craft projects “that can be pulled out in a moment to continue the conversation about content in a new light.” 

Collect a few simple graphic organizers, prepared question stems, or a “quickly drawn T-chart to explore a story or the plot diagram that could be traced on the wall.” During unplanned free moments, have students do sticky-note annotations or journal jots responding to a text they are reading or connecting what they’re reading to everyday life (the research suggests that this links learning to purpose and drives better academic performance). Developing an evolving set of these types of strategies—check in with colleagues for their favorites, as they’re likely to have their own clever go-to strategies—allows for quick adjustments when things don’t go according to plan. 

“Freedom can be found on the other side of a panic-stricken moment to engage in some of the work that we’ve been meaning to get around to,” writes DeHart.

 

Monday, January 1, 2024

10 New Year Resolutions for a Happier Family

 From: https://mailchi.mp/1c6e1e874e4d/100623-855908?e=29d55874fe&fbclid=IwAR0alA5otUDIzDlgYuraQ3WGXztxTUXtUGUhvg_U2TA3j4yknyQANxo4iJA